Tips to help your teens through their final high school years

Being a parent means supporting your children through many of life’s big transitions, whether it’s puberty and their changing bodies or how to handle the stresses of school. For teenagers one of the big decisions they face is what their future after high school will look like. Parents too may experience stress as they wonder how to support their child through this time.

When it comes to sitting their Higher School Certificate (HSC) or final exams, and choosing what comes after, you may be wondering how to navigate this time without adding stress to your child’s frame of mind. So how can you as a parent support your no doubt already stressed teen, without adding additional stress by overwhelming them with your expectations?

You may want to start by taking a little journey down memory lane and thinking about when you were their age and setting out on adult life. How did you feel about your final exams? Did you choose to do a vocation through TAFE rather than sit these exams? What were the expectations your parents put on you and how did they impact you?

Think about how the adults around you acted, reacted or supported (or even didn’t support) you, and how this impacted your own wellbeing at the time. What did you need from the adults around you?

“Be the person you needed when you were younger.” Ayesha Siddiqi

There is a lot of pressure put on teenagers at this time of their lives. Not only do they have to study for these exams, they are expected to make decisions about the next step in their lives as well. When they are already struggling with the idea of what their identity is outside of school, they may feel pressure put on them to choose their life path.

Think of it as though the end of high school is an ending to the longest chapter of a teen's life so far. This comes with joy, but it also comes with issues of identity, self-esteem and self-worth. They may be getting messages that their performance in their exams is what will set up the rest of their lives.

Although the exams are an important part of life, the outcome does not define your teenager. The exams do not measure their empathy, their life skills, their amazing resilience in just being a teenager in an ever-changing environment of social media and expectations on them, nor does it measure their worth as a person.

You can support them by reassuring them that life exists after the HSC no matter the outcome.

What we can teach our young people during this time is self-care, to try and then get back up and try again, to not be afraid of failure - for failure is an opportunity to learn and grow.

Although teenagers may look like adults and often walk and talk like adults, believe it or not they still need you. They need you to help them manage their self-care, even if they think it’s nagging, to check in on them and understand when they are a little more grumpy (yes expect more moods) and most of all they need to know that you support them no matter what the outcome is.

The best way to support your teenager is to ask the question, ‘how can I help, what do you need from me?’ and really listen. Focus on their positives, remind them of their qualities that also exist aside from study or school. Remind them to breathe, and tell them it’s going to be okay.

Young people are amazing, creative beings and when we strip back the hormones, the smart phones and the grunting responses, there is a resilient young person riding the wave of adolescence and doing their very best through this crazy journey of life.